The main reason I posted yesterday was because I need some advice.
And to be honest, the sooner the better.
B has been telling me for months now that another baby would be 'coming to my tummy'.
He has been pointing above my head and saying things like the baby is watching us and is getting ready and will be here soon, and that Mummy, Daddy, A, Nanny and Poppy are happy but that B is not.
He has been mucking up something shocking the last week or so, doing things he normally wouldn't do. I had a little talk to him a few days ago, asking him what was wrong and why was he being so naughty when he knows he's going to get punished. Of course he didn't give me an answer I was expecting, he just said "the baby is here now".
I half-believed him and went about like normal, then the night before last his behaviour started to deteriorate rapidly. It started off when he deliberately did a wee on the carpet in the living room (he is toilet trained and has been for a long time so this doesn't normally happen). He got in trouble for that and then was obnoxious from thereafter. He refused to eat his dinner, wouldn't put his undies or trousers on, was throwing his mini cars around the room, and basically just wouldn't do anything that was asked of him and was in terror mode. At one stage I settled him down with a hug and I thought he was ok, but within 15 minutes or so he started throwing the kitty litter around like confetti, emptied the cat's dry food out of the bowl and was mixing it in with the kitty litter! Crazy things that he has NEVER done before. Obviously something was bothering him.
When S came home he tried to ask him why he was acting like this, to which B answered again in Japanese "the baby is here now and B's not happy".
So that's when I did the pregnancy test, which was positive, as you know.
Yesterday things went from bad to worse.
He did a wee 8 times in places other than the toilet. Six times in the living room, once in the hallway and once in our bedroom on the tatami mat. What has happened to B, toilet trained B?
When I asked him if it was because of the baby he replied in Japanese "赤ちゃんが来て欲しくない". I know this is the reason why he is acting like he is, and he's sending out distress signals as best as a 3 year old can, but I'm at a loss as to what to do. I've been trying to give him lots of extra hugs and kisses lately (which he has been refusing outright), been telling him how much I love him, playing with him as much as I can, cooking together, doing anything I can. Last night I let him sleep with me and S in our bed and he hasn't done anything naughty yet today so maybe that is what he needed...
I don't know what else to do. It's hard enough looking after two kids under normal circumstances, so I really need to nip this in the bud or I don't know how I'm going to survive... Especially if morning sickness turns into anything like the two previous times.
Any advice anyone?
I haven't got any advice - and infact will come back later to check comments to see what advice you do get. We are kind of going through a smiliar 'phase' (?) with Shou. He is a right terror at the moment and has done a bit of 'akachan gaeri' - wanting to be waited on hand and bloody foot 24/7. He doesn't say it's because of the baby but Granny K, his kindy teachers, random people I meet on the street all do. What a very intuitive wee boy you have though - scarily so. Bummer about the peeing everywhere. I had a strange week of that with Shou - weeing on tatami. Not nice so good luck with that ;)
返信削除Otherwise - I guess you just have to do what you can to try and get you all out the other side safely - those mini cars can hurt if they hit you in the head aye!
Good luck.
yikes - how freaky that B knew about the baby! I think that is sooo interesting. But I feel for you now with him being upset and acting out. I think K is going through something similiar...... Hoping some sempai mothers can offer advice to get us all through this!
返信削除In the meantime, hope things don't get too crazy. Hugs to you and B!
wow- that is an amazing story about his intuitiveness. Oh gosh, I wonder if you go out with him alone or your DH and really give him 100 percent attention if it will settle him down. It is so difficult, but I know anytime Reo gets a few hours with me, DH or a friend he calms down and plays really well on his own. Now that the weather is looking up, you can get him to release that energy in the park. My boys love massages after bath and I made them their own personalized oils (Tomo for his allergies, Reo just to relax and baby just has a "baby" blend) and when they are ill or particularly needy I spend time giving them a body and foot massage. I think its more of the special bonding and pride of having their own oils that make them enjoy this. Sorry, this doesn't always work but its all I got for advice.
返信削除And, most importantly, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Gambatte with icky morning sickness. Drop me an email if you want to try the aromatherapy / massage stuff as I can give you more details and recipes. lilyyamashita@yahoo.ca
I've visited 3 times and still don't know what to say :(
返信削除B surely has inherited (??) your intuition!!!
I maybe sempai mama here (thanks tj!!) but I really didn't experience any jealousy stuff while I was pregnant. Afterwards I did-lots of throwing toys at new baby and jumping on him :( I just spent 1 on 1 time with him, went on dates and let the baby scream if we were playing together, it passed after about 3 months (a looonnngggggg 3 months!)
Do you think that B remembers you collapsing and being taken to hospital? Maybe that freaked him out, maybe he is scared that something will happen again, it mighten just be about the baby. Maybe he needs a lot of attention for a little while. My kids love sleeping with me when they're scared so I am not surprised that he slept with you!!