Sometimes I wonder if I must be crazy wanting more kids.
How on earth am I going to be able to handle it?
I know there are people out there with it much harder than me, I don't know how they cope.
Take today for instance.
I needed to get to an ATM to deposit some money in an account by today at the latest. Normally I would just drive to the bank and be done with it but I wanted to get out in the sun for a bit and thought walking could be a good option. Had a think about what the best way to go about it would be, decided to strap A on my front and walk to the conbini and pay the extra fee and do it there.
Everything started out ok, B holding my hand and walking beside me, A weighing a tonne, B stopping to pick up leaves on the way, and we eventually made it to the conbini. Nice happy families. Got inside and things went just as they always do. Nothing unexpected there.
B deciding to get a basket and start shopping by himself as I was stuck standing at the ATM machine, ignoring my pleas for him to come over here with Mummy please. B insisting he had to shut and open the doors for every customer who came in. B suddenly holding his pants and yelling 'wee wee 行きたい'(luckily that was just as I was finishing up at the ATM). B insisting he would hold the basket, put everything in it, and lift it up onto the counter all by himself. B yelling 'だめ！自分でする！' to the shop assistant who tries to help. B taking the bag of shopping off the assistant when it was packed. B then proceeding to go to, open, and about to go out!! the door while I'm stuck at the cash register. He turned around before he went out though to see if I was watching (which I was of course!) and came back over to where I was though, so I will give him some credit for that. Ahh, the joys of going shopping with a 3 year old...I know he means well and is so proud of himself that he's a big boy now and can do things just like Mummy does, and he thinks he is helping me out so continually makes comments like 'B君強いね','B君重い！でも頑張るよ' which mean something like 'look how strong I am', and 'It's heavy, but I can do it'. And of course refuses all offers for me to help.
So that part was pretty much to be expected.
It's the bit that comes next that worries me.
Walked back most of the way home (with B carrying the bag of shopping, of course!) and then he decided he wasn't going to hold my hand anymore. There was only about 10m before we were home so I gave in and said ok, but be careful and whatever you do DO NOT GO ON THE ROAD! It's not a busy road by any means and I was right beside him and the footpath is really wide so I thought it would be ok. The next second he runs on to the road. (No cars at this point) Run after him, grab him, take him back to the footpath where he chucks a willy and is lying down going psycho. Try to talk sense into him (is that even possible at 3??), and after a minute or so he settles down enough for him to stand up (I was still crouching down with A on my front trying to get up). Then he runs onto the road again to the exact same spot where I dragged him from a couple of minutes earlier. Only this time cars were coming!!! I don't know how but I somehow managed to get up, run after him, grab him in a bear hug (squashing A in the process, she was on my front, remember)and get him out of the way just in time (the car had seen us and was swerving out of the way), but OH MY GOD!!!!!
I bearhugged him the rest of the way home (kicking and screaming of course), carried him, A, my bag and the shopping up the stairs home, that's probably about 25kg btw (who needs to do weightlifting when you've got kids, hey), unlocked the door, got in and chained it before putting him down, then he screamed and carried on for another half hour after that. I knew that if I didn't chain the door he would be trying to go back and do it all again. It's like he has an obsession with things having to be done in a particular way and once he's got his mind set on something then he just completely turns off and will not listen to anything I say. He has never run out like that onto the road before, but there's no way I'm trusting him from now on.
How do people cope with more than 2 kids?
Seriously.
When does it get better? Or doesn't it?
Oh pooh...he ran out onto the road!
返信削除I don't know...do you have any discipline in place for when he does something wrong? I know I've been watching too much of the supernanny but she usually does a time-out or a naughty corner thing. Do you think that might work if you set up some kind of boundary where if he does something wrong he has to have time out or sit in the corner or something?
I guess you have to set some kind of thing so he respects that when you say "no", you mean it.
:)
oh that must have been so scary with B on the road and a car coming. you poor thing, what a day!
返信削除I am forever trying to get K to hold hands on roads and footpaths, it is actually one rule that I insist on and if she wont hold hands, then we won't cross the road etc (sometimes I take it to extremes and football carry her home if she won't hold hands!!), but walking on the footpaths, yeah, sometimes I relent there too, but they are just so quick, aren't they. And you never know what they are gonna do.
The other parts of your day were just like my days with ONE kid - bloody toddlers!!!! And I reckon they pick up on it when we have something that HAS to be done and they try their damndest to muck up just at that time, lol.
You said:
"It's like he has an obsession with things having to be done in a particular way and once he's got his mind set on something then he just completely turns off and will not listen to anything I say."
That describes K to a T too!
Are B and K facebooking each other and trading "ways to make mum go crazy" hints or something?!? lol
hope tomorrow is better.
Kelly:
返信削除We do have certain ways we use to discipline him and most of the time they work fine, but nothing is perfect I guess. Things are everchanging and something that might have worked fine up until now can suddenly change overnight, and you're left looking for a new way to deal with things. Kids get smarter every day...
tj-injapan
I think you're right about toddlers picking up on things. I mean usually he is pretty good to take out, he enjoys it, I enjoy it, and it's really not that much of a hassle. He listens to what I say, most of the time does what he's told straight away, and we don't have that many problems.
It's only when he can see that I physically can't be at his side, then he takes advantage of the freedom and tries to see what he can get away with. Well that's how it seems. Like when I'm in the toilet, or on the phone, or answering the door, or hanging out washing, or at the ATM, or at a cash register. Not all the time, just when he's feeling that way inclined.
I'm also strict with the holding hands thing. We never go anywhere if he won't hold my hand. I've been known to go straight home (ie. only get as far as the bottom of the stairs) if he won't oblige. Sounds similar to what you do too.lol
I guess I just assumed yesterday he would walk over to the stairs (which we could see from where we were), and didn't think he would run the other way...
Funny about the facebook comment. I think you could be right.lol
I read your post the other day and was thinking about what to write then hubby took the computer away on business-how dare he!!!
返信削除I guess my Mister Mischief (3) read your post too. At kindy yesterday afternoon he was playing and I bent down to pick up Mister Happy (1) who had fallen over, when I looked up he was gone. I was frantic looking here there and everywhere. Then I hear 'okaasan okaasan' The lady points down the hill. Luckily another mother had caught him. I presume he ran out of the playground, along the gym corridor (past me) across the teachers car park, down the driveway slope, through the community centre carpark to the kindy carpark and waited at the car, all while managing not to be hit by one of the 50 or so cars zooming in and out. He smiled and said 'mama'. He just doesn't understand.
From April he will attend this kindy, there are no fences and he can do this whenever he wants. He did this before Christmas too. I ambeside myself.
I had a strict policy of holding hands and resently I have been lax because I carry a 12kg chhild in one hand and sometimes it is all too difficult but I was strict today. The police came to kindy last year and told us about the number of kids who are hit by cars in carparks-I was horrified. The also suggested holding your kids wrist rather than their hand as they can't escape!!! It works.
As for day to day life, I have 3 kids and no problems because I don't take them shopping!!! I shop by myself on Sundays. As for finances my husband does all the finances, (I went to the bank before Christmas and had to get the staff to help because it has been a good 4 years since I have been in the door!!) We also live near nothing, the closest conbini is more than 1km away (not far) but not fun walking with 3 kids!!!!
The End!!! Sorry
No need to apologize!lol
返信削除I appreciate you sharing your story!
Sorry to hear what happened at the kindy yesterday. I'm glad your son was safe, and I would be beside myself too if that ever happened around here. I wonder why they don't have fences at the kindy?
I guess we can't be too careful, ever. And unfortunately it isn't humanly possible to be able to watch their every single move every single minute of the day (especially when there are other siblings needing to be looked after).
I guess it just proves that mothers of small kids need more than 2 eyes and 2 hands!!!
I'll be holding B's hand by the wrist from now on, that's for sure. Thanks for that suggestion.